Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
