Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize