OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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