I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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