i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
