i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
