He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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