Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
