a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
