think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize