Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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