Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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