we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
should my penis look like a turkey
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
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He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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