If that was your dad, he is hot
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
