I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a roof
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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