What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
