just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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