Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
