dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
