can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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