so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sarcasm needs its own font
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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