I'm going to jail i love you
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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