You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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