I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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