No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
