So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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