1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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