He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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