Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
