bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
