Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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