He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
