I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
