love makes seman taste better
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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