She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
