Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
