i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
