so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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