Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish you could order shots online.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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