as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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