If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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