Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My feet surprised me
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