look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
