Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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