The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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