all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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