Your dad touched me again.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
