I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize