Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What did we do last night that was yellow?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
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Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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