My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
