I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
