dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize