my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
