Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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