Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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