I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize