Me. At least after what I've been through.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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