i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
