and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
