So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
