hotel room ftw
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
